Oh 2009 ... how I've enjoyed you!
Despite failing to blog on a regular basis (or at all, since January 4, 2009), the past year has been more or less awesome-tastic. Given that '09 is almost through, I feel as though a few highlights are in order:
1) Building a life with Mark: We've been living together for a year now, and it's been great! Despite the horrible couch (don't get me started on that canyon-sized gap between the cushions!) and the lovely fragrance of a building full of cigarettes (ick), we're happier than ever. Although I can only speak directly for myself, I'd say we've both learned a great deal about each other - as well as ourselves - and are definitely building towards a great life together!
2) School is pretty rockin': I'm pretty sure I've found my calling ... or at least one of them! I love school, I'm acing all of my courses, and I've built up some pretty solid contacts. All of the teachers in the program are or have been professionals in the CYW field, and they really know their stuff. Although I'm looking forward to being DONE next March (2011), I'm enjoying the journey and I'm confident that I'm heading in the right professional direction.
3) Relay for Life 2009:It wasn't the easiest thing I've done this year, but joining up with a committee of people I didn't know and really throwing myself into the Orillia 09 Relay was a great experience. I'm signed up as Volunteer Coordinator for 2010, and I've gained a good deal of knowledge from 08 and 09 that will definitely help!
4) New adventures: I've developed some handy-dandy skills, many of which I probably should have developed sooner ...
For one, I have learned to budget! Yes, it's true, the queen of random "wants" and impulse purchases has finally learned to (almost always) tame that inner spend-a-holic. Can you believe it? I know my mom struggles with the concept. I found that the best solution for me is a combination of: a shared President's Choice account for all household and living-related expenses; and "Budget" and "Budget Workbook" for Mac (budgeting software). Living with someone who is business-minded and good with money certainly helps as well!
I've also learned to delegate. After the Hanover Relay for Life in 2008, I realized that I needed to learn to delegate. So I've honed my people-organizing and delegating tasks and am now able to reap the benefits of being a hands-on manager, while still having a few moments to breathe!
I'm sure there are more highlights warranting mention, but they're failing to show up in my mind at the moment. SO for now, enjoy the New Year's celebrations and I'll talk to you in 2010!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
upswing and downtime
Alright, time to get back into the blog. More than anything, this is a great way for me to keep track of my own life in writing ... hopefully to make this round of "edumacation" better and more enjoyable than the last (and the last was definitely good and enjoyable!).
So the latest ....
I've moved in with Mark! We're renting a cute 2 bedroom apartment in Orillia, and I am starting back at school (Georgian College, Child and Youth Worker Program) on Tuesday. We moved in on Dec 15th, unpacked for a few days, went back home for Christmas, and then came back and finished settling in. Kiki joined us on New Years Eve and after a few hours of pouting under our bed, she decided that things aren't so bad around here and hasn't left us (or our laps!) alone since. As I type from the comfy couch, she is on her cat condo a few feet away, making sure to sleep as much as possible!
It took two weeks for us to get our internet going (many delivery issues with regards to our modem) but it's now up and running. We've both got Orillia cell phone numbers now (email me if you want my new number) and our home phone is, of course, up and running. The only thing we're lacking at this point is TV - mainly because it's a big expense and not something we can really justify quite yet.
Mark is (still) working from home, which is great! Kiki enjoys his lap (more than mine, I think!) and because I haven't been in school yet, we've had lots of great time together and have really enjoyed these past few weeks of living together. I couldn't ask for a better man to share my life with and I'm so lucky - and grateful - to have him as my sweetie. He has started on a new project - links and info to follow soon - and was fortunate to spend three weeks in the Caribbean (St. Kitts) working on it. Can you say envious?!?! He came home bronzed and happy, and well-fed just in time for the move and Christmas celebrations.
We spent New Years at home and invited Mark's cousin Ken and his family - Heather (wife) and Isaac (18 month old son) to our place. They were our first house guests and it was great to host people in this space that we've worked so hard at making cozy and comfortable. We've even got some art and photos on the walls now. Once I get a few more things up on the wall I will post some photos of our place. In the meantime, here are some New Year's pics!
This is the outfit that Uncle Mark and Auntie Candice (that's us!!) got Isaac for Christmas ... sooo freaking cute!
It's hard to believe that a year has passed since I finished school ... and almost a year since I went to Europe! WOW! My life has completely changed, and I attribute much of that to the incredible opportunity I had to explore six countries, and myself! Although the trip didn't go exactly as initially planned, looking back I'd definitely say it was perfect! I'm in an incredible place in life right now and I wouldn't change a thing that has lead to this point. Today is six months exactly since Mark and I started dating and I couldn't possibly be happier. Things are that great!
It's cold outside - we had some freezing rain earlier and things have iced over now - so I think this calls for some movie and cat snuggling time! So, "ciao" for now!
-Candz
So the latest ....
I've moved in with Mark! We're renting a cute 2 bedroom apartment in Orillia, and I am starting back at school (Georgian College, Child and Youth Worker Program) on Tuesday. We moved in on Dec 15th, unpacked for a few days, went back home for Christmas, and then came back and finished settling in. Kiki joined us on New Years Eve and after a few hours of pouting under our bed, she decided that things aren't so bad around here and hasn't left us (or our laps!) alone since. As I type from the comfy couch, she is on her cat condo a few feet away, making sure to sleep as much as possible!
It took two weeks for us to get our internet going (many delivery issues with regards to our modem) but it's now up and running. We've both got Orillia cell phone numbers now (email me if you want my new number) and our home phone is, of course, up and running. The only thing we're lacking at this point is TV - mainly because it's a big expense and not something we can really justify quite yet.
Mark is (still) working from home, which is great! Kiki enjoys his lap (more than mine, I think!) and because I haven't been in school yet, we've had lots of great time together and have really enjoyed these past few weeks of living together. I couldn't ask for a better man to share my life with and I'm so lucky - and grateful - to have him as my sweetie. He has started on a new project - links and info to follow soon - and was fortunate to spend three weeks in the Caribbean (St. Kitts) working on it. Can you say envious?!?! He came home bronzed and happy, and well-fed just in time for the move and Christmas celebrations.
We spent New Years at home and invited Mark's cousin Ken and his family - Heather (wife) and Isaac (18 month old son) to our place. They were our first house guests and it was great to host people in this space that we've worked so hard at making cozy and comfortable. We've even got some art and photos on the walls now. Once I get a few more things up on the wall I will post some photos of our place. In the meantime, here are some New Year's pics!
This is the outfit that Uncle Mark and Auntie Candice (that's us!!) got Isaac for Christmas ... sooo freaking cute!
It's hard to believe that a year has passed since I finished school ... and almost a year since I went to Europe! WOW! My life has completely changed, and I attribute much of that to the incredible opportunity I had to explore six countries, and myself! Although the trip didn't go exactly as initially planned, looking back I'd definitely say it was perfect! I'm in an incredible place in life right now and I wouldn't change a thing that has lead to this point. Today is six months exactly since Mark and I started dating and I couldn't possibly be happier. Things are that great!
It's cold outside - we had some freezing rain earlier and things have iced over now - so I think this calls for some movie and cat snuggling time! So, "ciao" for now!
-Candz
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
sadness
the dynamics of our house - my parent's house - have changed dramatically. on friday, we made the awful decision to euthanize Benji.
he was old - 17 - and his health was deteriorating quickly. i'll admit, i was strongly in favour of the euthanization. we'd been anticipating it for a long time, and had all acknowledged that he wouldn't make it much longer. and when he wandered into the middle of the pool cover - which was filled with freezing cold water - and couldn't find a way out, we knew it was getting to be time.
what i really did not anticipate was how awful it would be. i made the phone call and scheduled the appointment - all the while feeling horrible because he was following me around, tail wagging, wanting an alpo biscuit. dad and chelsey went to the actual appointment and, though i wasn't there, what i've been told about it haunts me. three days later, i still feel wretched. i go back and forth between regret and intense grief. he was suffering, his quality of life was deteriorating rapidly, and he wasn't going to make it much longer. yet at the same time, he was still mentally "there" - he knew what was going on, and though he was blind and nearly deaf, he knew when one of us was around and was never far away.
there's an emptiness in the house ... my cat's bowl is now in the dog's spot. he's not lying near the door or wandering around the hall. there's really no need to check if the back door is locked because it hasn't been opened tonight. though it has been three days, i've been away at a conference and am only now really experiencing the loss.
i have a feeling it's going to be a while before it all sinks in. but this, like all grief, will lessen with time. in the meantime, i'd better try to sleep.
-c
he was old - 17 - and his health was deteriorating quickly. i'll admit, i was strongly in favour of the euthanization. we'd been anticipating it for a long time, and had all acknowledged that he wouldn't make it much longer. and when he wandered into the middle of the pool cover - which was filled with freezing cold water - and couldn't find a way out, we knew it was getting to be time.
what i really did not anticipate was how awful it would be. i made the phone call and scheduled the appointment - all the while feeling horrible because he was following me around, tail wagging, wanting an alpo biscuit. dad and chelsey went to the actual appointment and, though i wasn't there, what i've been told about it haunts me. three days later, i still feel wretched. i go back and forth between regret and intense grief. he was suffering, his quality of life was deteriorating rapidly, and he wasn't going to make it much longer. yet at the same time, he was still mentally "there" - he knew what was going on, and though he was blind and nearly deaf, he knew when one of us was around and was never far away.
there's an emptiness in the house ... my cat's bowl is now in the dog's spot. he's not lying near the door or wandering around the hall. there's really no need to check if the back door is locked because it hasn't been opened tonight. though it has been three days, i've been away at a conference and am only now really experiencing the loss.
i have a feeling it's going to be a while before it all sinks in. but this, like all grief, will lessen with time. in the meantime, i'd better try to sleep.
-c
Monday, October 13, 2008
niagara falls!
the blog post about this trip is coming ... for now, here's the link to the photos!
niagara getaway!
xox
niagara getaway!
xox
Monday, October 6, 2008
back to life
It's time to bring the blog back to life.
So, what's new?
A few things have happened since I returned from beautiful Roma ...
1) Plans for my glorious return to Europe have been set aside ... of course. Anyone surprised? The reasons for this are several, and although europe is not looming in my (anywhere near) future, I'm so happy.
2) I'm moving out of my parents house - again! The search for the "perfect apartment" is now underway, and I will be relocating to the small city of Orillia, Ontario.
3) The reason for the move - school! Of course - again, anyone surprised? The Where: Georgian College and the What: Child and Youth Worker. See HERE for more info :)
4) This year's Relay for Life is over, but the work hasn't quite ended! The relay itself was incredible ... We raised over $142,000 and had 61 teams registered. The community pulled together to make this a success, and I thank each and every one of my amazing volunteers. My job as volunteer coordinator was at times overwhelming and very challenging - but the rewards are many and I'm so glad I did it. Over the next six weeks I will be attending two Leadership Conferences for the Relay - one in Barrie and one in Mississauga. I'm really excited about these - they offer an opportunity to meet other Relay delegates and to get more involved with the CCS.
5) I'm just plain happy.
Glad to be back :)
xoxo
Candice
So, what's new?
A few things have happened since I returned from beautiful Roma ...
1) Plans for my glorious return to Europe have been set aside ... of course. Anyone surprised? The reasons for this are several, and although europe is not looming in my (anywhere near) future, I'm so happy.
2) I'm moving out of my parents house - again! The search for the "perfect apartment" is now underway, and I will be relocating to the small city of Orillia, Ontario.
3) The reason for the move - school! Of course - again, anyone surprised? The Where: Georgian College and the What: Child and Youth Worker. See HERE for more info :)
4) This year's Relay for Life is over, but the work hasn't quite ended! The relay itself was incredible ... We raised over $142,000 and had 61 teams registered. The community pulled together to make this a success, and I thank each and every one of my amazing volunteers. My job as volunteer coordinator was at times overwhelming and very challenging - but the rewards are many and I'm so glad I did it. Over the next six weeks I will be attending two Leadership Conferences for the Relay - one in Barrie and one in Mississauga. I'm really excited about these - they offer an opportunity to meet other Relay delegates and to get more involved with the CCS.
5) I'm just plain happy.
Glad to be back :)
xoxo
Candice
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
let's take a drive ...
Last night I was practicing driving. Yes, I’ve had my “G” for about 5 years – but I was out driving my dad’s big, smelly, dirty truck. As I was driving home after a half hour of finding my “sweet spot” with the clutch, I started thinking about the similarities between learning to drive this big, smelly truck and working to find a balance – I think I’ll call it my “sweet spot” – with life.
The more I think about this, the deeper I can take it. When I was a little kid, I was pretty lucky. I had parents who took care of everything – or at least tried to. Nothing too traumatic happened and I, like many other fortunate children, coasted along, hitting a few speedbumps but avoiding the ditch.
Along came the teen years. Sadly, I don’t look upon that time of my life with very much fondness. I mostly remember the bad stuff … the typical “teenager” insecurities and emotions and seemingly–but-not-actually ‘traumatic’ experiences. When I really pay attention to what was so crummy, I see the telltale ‘warning’ signs of what was to come – the nervousness, the fears of random and silly things, the lack of self-esteem and the tendency to cling to the negative – early symptoms of what would become a major roadblock later on …
The mid and late teens were, in a word, hell. I hit the ditch, and I hit it hard. No, I didn’t get into drugs (hell, I didn’t even try pot until I was nearly 20!). But shit happened, life blew up around me, and I had no idea how to deal with it. So I kept everything a secret. A big ball of nasty, miserable secrets that, over the course of a couple of years, sent me spiraling into a black pit of undiagnosed major depression and a serious anxiety disorder.
At the time – wallowing in depression and despair – I learned to drive. Yep, got my G1 and then my G2 … but I’m speaking more in metaphorical terms. Not in spite of, but because of all of this shit going on, I was also starting to learn how to “drive” my life. I was even starting to figure out what direction I wanted to go in! I just didn’t know it yet.
Anyway … for a blog about driving, this has gotten pretty deep! I really don’t even know where to take it anymore … so I’m going to get back to where it started in my mind … As I was driving along, thinking about balancing the clutch and the gas, I realized that there are many similarities between learning to balance life and learning to balance the clutch and the gas.
The first point is that it’s always a matter of learning … it takes time, effort, energy, dedication. For years I’ve avoided learning this skill … I’m not even completely sure why! It just seemed “too hard”. And yeah … it was rough at first. I stalled more than once and there were times when I just wanted to give up. But with some practice, I started to figure it out. And now I would say I’ve just about mastered the stick. :)
The quest for balancing my life has also been a learning process, and it has literally taken years. First I needed to find the courage to try, and ‘important someones’ --- particularly Serge and Juwa (love you babe!) to help guide me. Just as my dad has been there to answer my questions about driving that big old truck … to listen to me vent when things were “too hard” and to encourage and show me the way back onto the my path, my “special people” have been there for me as I’ve been working towards sorting things out.
The second point is – practice and dedication! The only way I’ve managed to “master the stick” has been to practice, and (lately) to just get in the truck and drive – by myself – and make mistakes. As my dad said to me last night “don’t panic, and take your time”. It’s taken a while … I’ve been trying to learn for months!
Unlike life, however, learning to drive standard is something that happens and then is done. Yes, it’s good to practice once in a while. But now I’m pretty much set in that department. I can get up and take that big clunky truck just about anywhere! Ha ha ha. Life, on the other hand – I (like everyone else!), will never be “set”. Yep, I’ve got more balance and happiness and good things than ever before. Depression free, anxiety disorder completely under control (thank you celexa, for saving me!), lots of great skills learned in therapy (CBT is amazing). I go to the gym, I eat pretty well (yes, I still love fruit by the foot and cake … but I’ve got much more self control!). I’m confident and honest and … well … happy. :) I’m working hard towards a great life!
Okay … that blog went a lot deeper than I intended and, honestly, doesn’t feel “together” to me … but I don’t know what else to do with it. So up it’s going and feedback is welcome!
Lots of love,
Candz
The more I think about this, the deeper I can take it. When I was a little kid, I was pretty lucky. I had parents who took care of everything – or at least tried to. Nothing too traumatic happened and I, like many other fortunate children, coasted along, hitting a few speedbumps but avoiding the ditch.
Along came the teen years. Sadly, I don’t look upon that time of my life with very much fondness. I mostly remember the bad stuff … the typical “teenager” insecurities and emotions and seemingly–but-not-actually ‘traumatic’ experiences. When I really pay attention to what was so crummy, I see the telltale ‘warning’ signs of what was to come – the nervousness, the fears of random and silly things, the lack of self-esteem and the tendency to cling to the negative – early symptoms of what would become a major roadblock later on …
The mid and late teens were, in a word, hell. I hit the ditch, and I hit it hard. No, I didn’t get into drugs (hell, I didn’t even try pot until I was nearly 20!). But shit happened, life blew up around me, and I had no idea how to deal with it. So I kept everything a secret. A big ball of nasty, miserable secrets that, over the course of a couple of years, sent me spiraling into a black pit of undiagnosed major depression and a serious anxiety disorder.
At the time – wallowing in depression and despair – I learned to drive. Yep, got my G1 and then my G2 … but I’m speaking more in metaphorical terms. Not in spite of, but because of all of this shit going on, I was also starting to learn how to “drive” my life. I was even starting to figure out what direction I wanted to go in! I just didn’t know it yet.
Anyway … for a blog about driving, this has gotten pretty deep! I really don’t even know where to take it anymore … so I’m going to get back to where it started in my mind … As I was driving along, thinking about balancing the clutch and the gas, I realized that there are many similarities between learning to balance life and learning to balance the clutch and the gas.
The first point is that it’s always a matter of learning … it takes time, effort, energy, dedication. For years I’ve avoided learning this skill … I’m not even completely sure why! It just seemed “too hard”. And yeah … it was rough at first. I stalled more than once and there were times when I just wanted to give up. But with some practice, I started to figure it out. And now I would say I’ve just about mastered the stick. :)
The quest for balancing my life has also been a learning process, and it has literally taken years. First I needed to find the courage to try, and ‘important someones’ --- particularly Serge and Juwa (love you babe!) to help guide me. Just as my dad has been there to answer my questions about driving that big old truck … to listen to me vent when things were “too hard” and to encourage and show me the way back onto the my path, my “special people” have been there for me as I’ve been working towards sorting things out.
The second point is – practice and dedication! The only way I’ve managed to “master the stick” has been to practice, and (lately) to just get in the truck and drive – by myself – and make mistakes. As my dad said to me last night “don’t panic, and take your time”. It’s taken a while … I’ve been trying to learn for months!
Unlike life, however, learning to drive standard is something that happens and then is done. Yes, it’s good to practice once in a while. But now I’m pretty much set in that department. I can get up and take that big clunky truck just about anywhere! Ha ha ha. Life, on the other hand – I (like everyone else!), will never be “set”. Yep, I’ve got more balance and happiness and good things than ever before. Depression free, anxiety disorder completely under control (thank you celexa, for saving me!), lots of great skills learned in therapy (CBT is amazing). I go to the gym, I eat pretty well (yes, I still love fruit by the foot and cake … but I’ve got much more self control!). I’m confident and honest and … well … happy. :) I’m working hard towards a great life!
Okay … that blog went a lot deeper than I intended and, honestly, doesn’t feel “together” to me … but I don’t know what else to do with it. So up it’s going and feedback is welcome!
Lots of love,
Candz
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