Wednesday, June 25, 2008
let's take a drive ...
Last night I was practicing driving. Yes, I’ve had my “G” for about 5 years – but I was out driving my dad’s big, smelly, dirty truck. As I was driving home after a half hour of finding my “sweet spot” with the clutch, I started thinking about the similarities between learning to drive this big, smelly truck and working to find a balance – I think I’ll call it my “sweet spot” – with life.
The more I think about this, the deeper I can take it. When I was a little kid, I was pretty lucky. I had parents who took care of everything – or at least tried to. Nothing too traumatic happened and I, like many other fortunate children, coasted along, hitting a few speedbumps but avoiding the ditch.
Along came the teen years. Sadly, I don’t look upon that time of my life with very much fondness. I mostly remember the bad stuff … the typical “teenager” insecurities and emotions and seemingly–but-not-actually ‘traumatic’ experiences. When I really pay attention to what was so crummy, I see the telltale ‘warning’ signs of what was to come – the nervousness, the fears of random and silly things, the lack of self-esteem and the tendency to cling to the negative – early symptoms of what would become a major roadblock later on …
The mid and late teens were, in a word, hell. I hit the ditch, and I hit it hard. No, I didn’t get into drugs (hell, I didn’t even try pot until I was nearly 20!). But shit happened, life blew up around me, and I had no idea how to deal with it. So I kept everything a secret. A big ball of nasty, miserable secrets that, over the course of a couple of years, sent me spiraling into a black pit of undiagnosed major depression and a serious anxiety disorder.
At the time – wallowing in depression and despair – I learned to drive. Yep, got my G1 and then my G2 … but I’m speaking more in metaphorical terms. Not in spite of, but because of all of this shit going on, I was also starting to learn how to “drive” my life. I was even starting to figure out what direction I wanted to go in! I just didn’t know it yet.
Anyway … for a blog about driving, this has gotten pretty deep! I really don’t even know where to take it anymore … so I’m going to get back to where it started in my mind … As I was driving along, thinking about balancing the clutch and the gas, I realized that there are many similarities between learning to balance life and learning to balance the clutch and the gas.
The first point is that it’s always a matter of learning … it takes time, effort, energy, dedication. For years I’ve avoided learning this skill … I’m not even completely sure why! It just seemed “too hard”. And yeah … it was rough at first. I stalled more than once and there were times when I just wanted to give up. But with some practice, I started to figure it out. And now I would say I’ve just about mastered the stick. :)
The quest for balancing my life has also been a learning process, and it has literally taken years. First I needed to find the courage to try, and ‘important someones’ --- particularly Serge and Juwa (love you babe!) to help guide me. Just as my dad has been there to answer my questions about driving that big old truck … to listen to me vent when things were “too hard” and to encourage and show me the way back onto the my path, my “special people” have been there for me as I’ve been working towards sorting things out.
The second point is – practice and dedication! The only way I’ve managed to “master the stick” has been to practice, and (lately) to just get in the truck and drive – by myself – and make mistakes. As my dad said to me last night “don’t panic, and take your time”. It’s taken a while … I’ve been trying to learn for months!
Unlike life, however, learning to drive standard is something that happens and then is done. Yes, it’s good to practice once in a while. But now I’m pretty much set in that department. I can get up and take that big clunky truck just about anywhere! Ha ha ha. Life, on the other hand – I (like everyone else!), will never be “set”. Yep, I’ve got more balance and happiness and good things than ever before. Depression free, anxiety disorder completely under control (thank you celexa, for saving me!), lots of great skills learned in therapy (CBT is amazing). I go to the gym, I eat pretty well (yes, I still love fruit by the foot and cake … but I’ve got much more self control!). I’m confident and honest and … well … happy. :) I’m working hard towards a great life!
Okay … that blog went a lot deeper than I intended and, honestly, doesn’t feel “together” to me … but I don’t know what else to do with it. So up it’s going and feedback is welcome!
Lots of love,
Candz
The more I think about this, the deeper I can take it. When I was a little kid, I was pretty lucky. I had parents who took care of everything – or at least tried to. Nothing too traumatic happened and I, like many other fortunate children, coasted along, hitting a few speedbumps but avoiding the ditch.
Along came the teen years. Sadly, I don’t look upon that time of my life with very much fondness. I mostly remember the bad stuff … the typical “teenager” insecurities and emotions and seemingly–but-not-actually ‘traumatic’ experiences. When I really pay attention to what was so crummy, I see the telltale ‘warning’ signs of what was to come – the nervousness, the fears of random and silly things, the lack of self-esteem and the tendency to cling to the negative – early symptoms of what would become a major roadblock later on …
The mid and late teens were, in a word, hell. I hit the ditch, and I hit it hard. No, I didn’t get into drugs (hell, I didn’t even try pot until I was nearly 20!). But shit happened, life blew up around me, and I had no idea how to deal with it. So I kept everything a secret. A big ball of nasty, miserable secrets that, over the course of a couple of years, sent me spiraling into a black pit of undiagnosed major depression and a serious anxiety disorder.
At the time – wallowing in depression and despair – I learned to drive. Yep, got my G1 and then my G2 … but I’m speaking more in metaphorical terms. Not in spite of, but because of all of this shit going on, I was also starting to learn how to “drive” my life. I was even starting to figure out what direction I wanted to go in! I just didn’t know it yet.
Anyway … for a blog about driving, this has gotten pretty deep! I really don’t even know where to take it anymore … so I’m going to get back to where it started in my mind … As I was driving along, thinking about balancing the clutch and the gas, I realized that there are many similarities between learning to balance life and learning to balance the clutch and the gas.
The first point is that it’s always a matter of learning … it takes time, effort, energy, dedication. For years I’ve avoided learning this skill … I’m not even completely sure why! It just seemed “too hard”. And yeah … it was rough at first. I stalled more than once and there were times when I just wanted to give up. But with some practice, I started to figure it out. And now I would say I’ve just about mastered the stick. :)
The quest for balancing my life has also been a learning process, and it has literally taken years. First I needed to find the courage to try, and ‘important someones’ --- particularly Serge and Juwa (love you babe!) to help guide me. Just as my dad has been there to answer my questions about driving that big old truck … to listen to me vent when things were “too hard” and to encourage and show me the way back onto the my path, my “special people” have been there for me as I’ve been working towards sorting things out.
The second point is – practice and dedication! The only way I’ve managed to “master the stick” has been to practice, and (lately) to just get in the truck and drive – by myself – and make mistakes. As my dad said to me last night “don’t panic, and take your time”. It’s taken a while … I’ve been trying to learn for months!
Unlike life, however, learning to drive standard is something that happens and then is done. Yes, it’s good to practice once in a while. But now I’m pretty much set in that department. I can get up and take that big clunky truck just about anywhere! Ha ha ha. Life, on the other hand – I (like everyone else!), will never be “set”. Yep, I’ve got more balance and happiness and good things than ever before. Depression free, anxiety disorder completely under control (thank you celexa, for saving me!), lots of great skills learned in therapy (CBT is amazing). I go to the gym, I eat pretty well (yes, I still love fruit by the foot and cake … but I’ve got much more self control!). I’m confident and honest and … well … happy. :) I’m working hard towards a great life!
Okay … that blog went a lot deeper than I intended and, honestly, doesn’t feel “together” to me … but I don’t know what else to do with it. So up it’s going and feedback is welcome!
Lots of love,
Candz
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
unfold
new song addiction!
"unfold" - Marié Digby
what i can remember
is a lot like water
trickling down a page
of the most beautiful colors
i can’t quite put my finger
down on the moment
that i became like this...
you see i am the bravest girl
you will ever come to meet
yet i shrink down to nothing
at the thought of someone
really seeing me
i think my heart is wrapped around
and tangled up in winding weeds
but i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold
these hands that i hold
behind my back are
bound and broken
by my own doing
and i can’t feel
anything anymore
i need a touch to remind me
i’m still real
but i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold
my soul
it’s dying to be free
you see.. i can’t live the rest of my life
so guarded
it’s dying to be free
it’s up to me to choose...
what kind of life i lead
but i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold
i will allow someone to love me
i will allow someone to love me.
"unfold" - Marié Digby
what i can remember
is a lot like water
trickling down a page
of the most beautiful colors
i can’t quite put my finger
down on the moment
that i became like this...
you see i am the bravest girl
you will ever come to meet
yet i shrink down to nothing
at the thought of someone
really seeing me
i think my heart is wrapped around
and tangled up in winding weeds
but i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold
these hands that i hold
behind my back are
bound and broken
by my own doing
and i can’t feel
anything anymore
i need a touch to remind me
i’m still real
but i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold
my soul
it’s dying to be free
you see.. i can’t live the rest of my life
so guarded
it’s dying to be free
it’s up to me to choose...
what kind of life i lead
but i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold
i will allow someone to love me
i will allow someone to love me.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
blogging again!
Well folks, it’s time to get back to the blog.
I’ve been home from Roma since May 21 and it’s been an interesting few weeks. It was a difficult transition and one that I really did not want to make – but I have survived and things are coming together now.
I’m officially employed as a personal support worker at Community Living Walkerton and District. Woot woot. It’s a job I’ve done before – in the summer of 2004 (the last time I was actually living at home) and it’s a field in which I have quite a lot of experience. I started traning last week with a brief book-orientation for a few hours. Yesterday was filled with NVCI training – that’s “non violent crisis intervention” training. And today I started my actual on the job training. I’m thankful for my prior (extensive) experience with support work – I know what I’m going into and have the skills to deal with it. So … I’m looking forward to this!
As you are probably aware, working in Walkerton means that I’m living at home. For the most part this is quite good – free room and board, lots of good food, company, sleep, kitties … all good things. There are moments, however, when I feel like pulling my own hair out (or that of someone else) and just wish that I was in the city, living on my own! Now is more or less one of those moments. It can be hard to get space and breathing room with so many people (the house is especially crowded at the moment). So I just have to try to be patient and occupy myself. I would like to go out for a bike ride – though the weather is really crummy today so I’m not sure if I’ll manage that.
That’s another thing that I’ve been doing lately – biking a LOT. I’m trying to use my bike as my primary method of transportation (though I’m getting my car back from Cassie … it’s going to be an unavoidable evil if I’m working 40+ hours/week). However, I’ve been lucky and biked most everywhere so far – particularly to the gym! I’ve been going to the gym almost every day, which has been great. I’m feeling good and strong and the most motivated I’ve ever been. My abs are getting pretty solid! Don’t believe me? Just try me! Hahaha …
More summer goodness --- with some help from my dad I’ve managed to start a min-garden this year, with a few tomatoe plants, basil (mmmmm … I use it almost daily!), thyme, rosemary, lavender, red peppers and green peppers. I think we’re going to try to get a few more veggies and get them planted this week (the weather isn’t fantastic, so we’re not too far behind the planting). So far everything is in big planters (my preference). But we might have to get some of these tomatoes in the ground.
I’ve been scrapbooking and crafting a LOT lately … making lots of cards and some pretty cool layouts as well. I’ve finally ordered prints from blacks – now I just need to GET to Guelph. Soon, I hope. If you’re in Guelph and you want to chill, please, let me know. I would love to see some familiar faces!
I’m working on learning Italian now. This is for a few reasons … not only because it’s an awesome language and I think that learning a new language is a great thing to do – but also because I would love to head back to Roma for a few months (or more) as soon as that becomes possible. I’m trying to be realistic and just go with things each day. Right now I have to deal with the cooped up feelings that I am experiencing and fight the urge to rent an apartment in walkerton just to get some space!!! Will keep you posted on that one.
The other thing that I’m getting into is photography. I am saving for a digital SLR and want to start learning some photography skills. I’m feeling good about all these things that I am doing for myself … eating well, exercising a lot, scrapping/crafting, learning a language, learning new skills and trying new things (I think I’m going to try kayaking at the next opportunity, which I believe is in a couple of weeks). Now I’m just starting to wish that I had someone to share some of this with. Julia, baby, you’re so far away! I think I’m re-entering that place where one is capable of having a relationship …
Hmm … scary thoughts. I’m sure this is due, at least in part, by the influence of Bruce County. I’ll call it BC Syndrome – everyone I went to high school with (including those younger than me) have gotten or are getting married – or at least have children. The pressure is on!!! read: i want a daaaaaateeeee!
Good thing I’m strong :)
Hope all is well. Stay tuned, you’ll be my outlet now that I’m back into routine.
Xox
candz
Monday, May 26, 2008
let's get going!
well folks ... i'm back in canada and settling in. no, it's not the ideal situation (i would have loved to stay in rome), but things are smoothing out and i'm job hunting so that i can get back to roma within the next 6 months!
in the meantime, i'm getting involved in the local community in a way that means so much to me ...
*******
I'm gearing up to kick cancer's ass!! That's right folks, it's that time again and I'm putting another team together for this year's Relay For Life (Hanover). I'm also volunteering as the Volunteer Coordinator and throwing myself into this 110%!
If you haven't already heard, Relay for Life is an annual event run by the Canadian Cancer Society in an effort to raise funds and awareness about cancer (see http://convio.cancer.ca/site/PageServer?pagename=RFL_ON_faq_event). It takes place all over the country, and the one I'm participating in is in Hanover.
I'm asking you to help me with this. Join me, pledge me, or volunteer for this amazing event. You can pledge me by clicking https://secureccs.ca/eventmodule.aspx?lng=en&did=2&eid=33&pg=donation_step0
and clicking "pledge a participant". Then just search me - Candice Reich -- it's super easy and only takes a few minutes!
If you want to know more about how you can get involved, contact me! I'd love to talk to you about how you can help!
Thanks everyone, I couldn't do it without your support!
***
So please, pledge me (even just $5!), join me, volunteer. Do SOMETHING for this amazing event. We all have loved ones who have been affected by this horrible disease.
xoxoxox Candice
in the meantime, i'm getting involved in the local community in a way that means so much to me ...
*******
I'm gearing up to kick cancer's ass!! That's right folks, it's that time again and I'm putting another team together for this year's Relay For Life (Hanover). I'm also volunteering as the Volunteer Coordinator and throwing myself into this 110%!
If you haven't already heard, Relay for Life is an annual event run by the Canadian Cancer Society in an effort to raise funds and awareness about cancer (see http://convio.cancer.ca/site/PageServer?pagename=RFL_ON_faq_event). It takes place all over the country, and the one I'm participating in is in Hanover.
I'm asking you to help me with this. Join me, pledge me, or volunteer for this amazing event. You can pledge me by clicking https://secureccs.ca/eventmodule.aspx?lng=en&did=2&eid=33&pg=donation_step0
and clicking "pledge a participant". Then just search me - Candice Reich -- it's super easy and only takes a few minutes!
If you want to know more about how you can get involved, contact me! I'd love to talk to you about how you can help!
Thanks everyone, I couldn't do it without your support!
***
So please, pledge me (even just $5!), join me, volunteer. Do SOMETHING for this amazing event. We all have loved ones who have been affected by this horrible disease.
xoxoxox Candice
Monday, May 12, 2008
travelling!!!
hey folks! just a quick update ... i am currently in sorrento enjoying the sun and sea! i will be staying here until thursday or friday, at which point i will be heading north to firenze and cinque terre.
my flight home is the 21st.
i went to pompeii today! stay tuned, there are many many pictures to come!!!
xox
my flight home is the 21st.
i went to pompeii today! stay tuned, there are many many pictures to come!!!
xox
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Updates
Wednesday, April 30
Life in Roma is, well, life. Ups and downs, good days and not so good days. However, my days in Roma have been made even more enjoyable by a FRIEND! Yes folks, it’s true, I have a friend. Holly! She is, like me, an au pair. She is here from England and we met through good ol’ facebook. I still have a bit of bitterness toward that whole program (please, STOP sending those stupid application invitations). However, it is immensely useful and its incredible popularity has enabled me to find some companionship in this massive city.
I have also, finally, started to put together some pictures to post on – you guessed it – facebook. The link will be here – VATICAN and COLOSSEO – when they are up (this post may be up before the pictures). As you are aware (at least if you have read a few posts back), my internet access is quite limited and so it is not a very easy task to post blogs or photos on a regular basis. However, I am getting more organized. Soon my camera battery is dead, and since I have not yet found a voltage converter that actually WORKS, I will be a very sad explorer until I manage to charge up. So, task of the moment is to find a converter!
Tomorrow (probably yesterday or the day before yesterday when I get this online – Thursday May 1) Holly and I both have a random day off (thank goodness, I had the children all day for two days this week and I need a break!). So we are heading to Firenze – once again, that is Florence to us non-Italian speaking critters. Let’s hear a big cheer for random days off and traveling to Firenze! Hahahaha.
To those of you who have let me know that you are enjoying the blog – namely Aunt Lori and Gillian – thank you! When I am writing, I am talking to you inside my head, which gives me motivation to try to be a little more creative. :)
It is only 9:17pm right now (so only 12:17 for you, aunt lori) … but I am exhausted! Holly and I rented a funky little bicycle buggy today in Villa de Borghese. I will post pictures of that soon!!! It was great fun, although a LOT of work – especially on those hills! I wonder what kind of adventures we will get up to in Florence tomorrow!!!
Much love!
Xoxo
Candy
***
Monday, May 5
Well folks, sooner or later the truth always comes out. That is partly why I just don’t lie. It’s not worth it. I can’t even lie in my blog!
So here it is … I’m going home. Now before you start thinking that something horrible has happened or that things are shitty (like the Spain experience), let me explain. The family – and especially the children – are very nice and friendly. There have been, of course, some moments (perhaps more than a few) where I have thought that perhaps the parents go a little overboard with certain things. I’ll put it simply – they are meticulous about everything and the mom is prone to sudden fits of yelling things in Italian that I often don’t understand. And when I say “yelling” I really mean something more along the lines of screaming and ranting. But overall they are very nice people and mean well.
But … I am just not happy with this life. This family, though nice, is quite restrictive. To be reassuring (Jay this is particularly for you, if you are reading this) – they are not what ‘au pair families’ usually are (I get this impression from talking with other au pairs). I don’t want to make them sound like horrible people or anything … but we have finally discussed what I have been observing over the past couple of weeks – that what they want and need is, in fact, not an au pair but rather a full time, live-in housekeeper. And I did not come all the way to Rome to be a full time housekeeper! And so we have agreed that I am not going to stay.
Now I could easily find another au pair family, one who knows what an au pair is all about and who wants an au pair. There are many of them out there and if I reactivated my profile on au pair world, I could easily find a family within a few days. But to be honest, I just want to travel around on my own for a bit and then go home, get a “real job”, and save up for the next adventure. So my flight has been changed to May 21, and this weekend I am leaving the majority of my stuff here and taking off for 10 days or so to see more of Italy on my own.
I’m so excited about that! My first month of independent traveling gave me a newfound love of the adventure, independence, and exploration that this kind of traveling offers. So another 10 days before I head home for a while is really ideal. And things with the family are as amicable as ever … we have both acknowledged that what they need and what I am here for are very different things and that this is a good opportunity for me to travel a bit more.
Although I have decided not to stay, I am so glad for having had this entire experience. I have learned so much and seen more than I had ever thought I would see! I have made an amazing friend and – hopefully!! – we will have the chance to be travel buddies as well! And I’m not saying that au pairing is a bad idea at all. When it works, it is a fantastic opportunity to get to know another country, another culture, often another language, while earning some money and (hopefully!) doing some traveling too.
As for what’s next … I am actually really excited to go home, live with the parents, and work for a while. SAVE some money and start to climb ever so slowly from this pit of debt that university (and this trip, to an extent) has left me in.
This experience has been everything that I had hoped it would be. I’ve had a chance to clear my head and reflect on what I want to do next, what I am capable of, what I won’t accept, and how I can get to where I want to be. Everything that I have seen, done, and experienced in the last three months has taught me to be patient and to accept that no matter how much I plan things, life is always going to happen! Thank goodness for that, too. If things always went “according to plan”, life would be so dull and we would never grow and learn!
So I’m ready to get back to reality. I’m excited to start on the path towards where I want to go … or at least where I think I want to go! Of course, I’m going to keep blogging.
:) big smiles from Italia!
xox
Candy
Life in Roma is, well, life. Ups and downs, good days and not so good days. However, my days in Roma have been made even more enjoyable by a FRIEND! Yes folks, it’s true, I have a friend. Holly! She is, like me, an au pair. She is here from England and we met through good ol’ facebook. I still have a bit of bitterness toward that whole program (please, STOP sending those stupid application invitations). However, it is immensely useful and its incredible popularity has enabled me to find some companionship in this massive city.
I have also, finally, started to put together some pictures to post on – you guessed it – facebook. The link will be here – VATICAN and COLOSSEO – when they are up (this post may be up before the pictures). As you are aware (at least if you have read a few posts back), my internet access is quite limited and so it is not a very easy task to post blogs or photos on a regular basis. However, I am getting more organized. Soon my camera battery is dead, and since I have not yet found a voltage converter that actually WORKS, I will be a very sad explorer until I manage to charge up. So, task of the moment is to find a converter!
Tomorrow (probably yesterday or the day before yesterday when I get this online – Thursday May 1) Holly and I both have a random day off (thank goodness, I had the children all day for two days this week and I need a break!). So we are heading to Firenze – once again, that is Florence to us non-Italian speaking critters. Let’s hear a big cheer for random days off and traveling to Firenze! Hahahaha.
To those of you who have let me know that you are enjoying the blog – namely Aunt Lori and Gillian – thank you! When I am writing, I am talking to you inside my head, which gives me motivation to try to be a little more creative. :)
It is only 9:17pm right now (so only 12:17 for you, aunt lori) … but I am exhausted! Holly and I rented a funky little bicycle buggy today in Villa de Borghese. I will post pictures of that soon!!! It was great fun, although a LOT of work – especially on those hills! I wonder what kind of adventures we will get up to in Florence tomorrow!!!
Much love!
Xoxo
Candy
***
Monday, May 5
Well folks, sooner or later the truth always comes out. That is partly why I just don’t lie. It’s not worth it. I can’t even lie in my blog!
So here it is … I’m going home. Now before you start thinking that something horrible has happened or that things are shitty (like the Spain experience), let me explain. The family – and especially the children – are very nice and friendly. There have been, of course, some moments (perhaps more than a few) where I have thought that perhaps the parents go a little overboard with certain things. I’ll put it simply – they are meticulous about everything and the mom is prone to sudden fits of yelling things in Italian that I often don’t understand. And when I say “yelling” I really mean something more along the lines of screaming and ranting. But overall they are very nice people and mean well.
But … I am just not happy with this life. This family, though nice, is quite restrictive. To be reassuring (Jay this is particularly for you, if you are reading this) – they are not what ‘au pair families’ usually are (I get this impression from talking with other au pairs). I don’t want to make them sound like horrible people or anything … but we have finally discussed what I have been observing over the past couple of weeks – that what they want and need is, in fact, not an au pair but rather a full time, live-in housekeeper. And I did not come all the way to Rome to be a full time housekeeper! And so we have agreed that I am not going to stay.
Now I could easily find another au pair family, one who knows what an au pair is all about and who wants an au pair. There are many of them out there and if I reactivated my profile on au pair world, I could easily find a family within a few days. But to be honest, I just want to travel around on my own for a bit and then go home, get a “real job”, and save up for the next adventure. So my flight has been changed to May 21, and this weekend I am leaving the majority of my stuff here and taking off for 10 days or so to see more of Italy on my own.
I’m so excited about that! My first month of independent traveling gave me a newfound love of the adventure, independence, and exploration that this kind of traveling offers. So another 10 days before I head home for a while is really ideal. And things with the family are as amicable as ever … we have both acknowledged that what they need and what I am here for are very different things and that this is a good opportunity for me to travel a bit more.
Although I have decided not to stay, I am so glad for having had this entire experience. I have learned so much and seen more than I had ever thought I would see! I have made an amazing friend and – hopefully!! – we will have the chance to be travel buddies as well! And I’m not saying that au pairing is a bad idea at all. When it works, it is a fantastic opportunity to get to know another country, another culture, often another language, while earning some money and (hopefully!) doing some traveling too.
As for what’s next … I am actually really excited to go home, live with the parents, and work for a while. SAVE some money and start to climb ever so slowly from this pit of debt that university (and this trip, to an extent) has left me in.
This experience has been everything that I had hoped it would be. I’ve had a chance to clear my head and reflect on what I want to do next, what I am capable of, what I won’t accept, and how I can get to where I want to be. Everything that I have seen, done, and experienced in the last three months has taught me to be patient and to accept that no matter how much I plan things, life is always going to happen! Thank goodness for that, too. If things always went “according to plan”, life would be so dull and we would never grow and learn!
So I’m ready to get back to reality. I’m excited to start on the path towards where I want to go … or at least where I think I want to go! Of course, I’m going to keep blogging.
:) big smiles from Italia!
xox
Candy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)